Integrity

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I keep losing my integrity and losing good friends. I fear that I am a poor friend, daughter, sister and girlfriend. I feel that I have been living a life to please others, or to strive for a sense of ‘perfection’ or a particular image of someone that I thought was what I wanted. I do things to seek validation or acknowledgment. I would rather wish others thought of me as agreeable than make waves.

So now, I have come to this point where I have hurt some incredible friends in the past, lost a great relationship and possibly my best friend and strained my family, all because of a lack of backbone. I am now seeking how you can gain integrity back? I do not even know if I had integrity to begin with. I do not know how to proceed with my life. I feel so low. How do you start rebuilding your moral self? How can you apologise for the way you have acted in the past, when sorry isn’t good enough?

A quote I was given a long time ago, but never understood it until now:

“In order to survive, we cling to all we know and understand – that we label it reality. But knowledge and understanding are ambiguous. That reality may very well be an illusion. All humans live with the wrong assumptions.”

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